I am so deeply upset

I think Keir and Ali are coming to an end, all because of a girl at Keirs work,,,,,he cannot see that every relationship has it's difficulties and he's being very stubborn and selfish, but Ali buries her head in her phone and makes it look as if she doesn't care, but we know that she does.  I have cried all weekend and I don't know what to do, I know there is nothing I can do, if he goes off with this girl then I won;t be very happy with him at all, it will cause no end of troubles with Luna and him having visiting - my mind is going around in circles.  I've gone from a very happy person to being eaten up in side and I cannot stop crying.  I want them to stay together.  I will be desperately unhappy if he goes off with this girl and walks away from this relationship as he did with Olivia.  I love Ali as a daughter, I won;'t know what to do if it happens.  God I hope things work out OK.

I'm very happy with the 2nd pic ! NOT THE FIRST !

We look like a really old couple - hate this photo of our 40th wedding anniversary meal

Although I still have half a stone to go - I am much happier with this picture taken at the gym last week...............just hope I can keep it up and my blood results show GOOD lifestyle changes.  I love the exercise but hate watching what I'm eating all the time.

AND I'M STILL THE SAME

well whoop whoop to that because I have eaten badly a few days a week and then back on a kind of plan to try to keep my diabetes points down etc - so I stay between 10.13 and 11 stone.  11 stone again this morning.  Will try and have a lean day to be 10.13 in the morning again.

It is so hard.

Less than two weeks to my next blood tests.  BUT I am of the mind now that I eat and exercise (a lot) so it's got to be better for me than not doing anything.  I had got my points down to 44 from 64 and I'm off simvastatin which is wonderful.  So hey ho - what IS   'IS'  nothing more I can do but keep on keeping on. 

But it is so hard.

I don't mind the exercising at all - although I find time is a nightmare - having Luna 3 days one week and two days the next is really restrictive for me.  BUT she is wonderful.  It has meant though that with everything else I have to do I find it hard to go to the gym 3 times a week.  so I may start going on a Sunday, Tuesday and Friday.  rather than Monday nights which is ALWAYS mega busy.

How could I not look after such a little cutie, beautiful little girl as my darling GD Luna x x x  always love you Luna even though no one sees this blog.  

I am so stupid

Self sabotage again, back to 11 stones - maybe even 11.1 - it annoys me that I am overeating again, and I only have 3 weeks just over to have my bloods done again and as I'm eating chocolate and crap again the points for my diabetes may be higher again.  I get depressed about that.  BUT I can only try, as of tomorrow I have to think about what I am putting in my mouth.  I WILL be 10.12 next Saturday, I WILL BE.  Going to get back on Slimming World properly, cut the carbs, cut the sweet things, cut the extras.  I hope.

dissapointed today

10.13 this morning again, by the skin of my teeth.  have gone completely off track (although still exercising) but food wise I will be dreadful with bloods if I don't reign myself in. So fed up eating crap.  Was going to be good today and then ended up eating loads of fruit and nut mix - around 400 calories (but no breakfast) then out to TGI fridays for our free meal with Korin and she bought me my meal had sticky jack daniels chicken - gorgeous but very sweet and naughty - then tonight went and ate a chocolate Lucy Lamb.  OMG I feel sick, I REALLY must get myself back together.

Back to it now !

10.13 haven't been in the 10's for such a long long time

and size 14 - clothese are all too big.  BIG SMILEY FACE.

Nuband for Mothers Day

and loads of chocolates - which I didn't eat all of but have almost finished them off since having my bloods done today......I hope I have brought my points down on my diabetes scale, only a few days until results.  Let it be - PLEASE