Sunday, 15 January 2017

I suppose i feel bereft ? Down in the dumps kind of weekend.

Bereft ?    I shouldn't keep thinking about 'our' Marian, but she really did shit on me from a great height.  I don't know if she is feeling upset about not contacting me ?  just so she can stay with a husband who has been a bit SHIT for a very very long time.  8 weeks now, and although I have said I now hate her, I really don't.  We used to have a laugh on the phone sometimes, there was a lot of negatives, but we did have a laugh too.  I miss that.  I don't have anyone as close as that anymore, I have 'friends' but not ones that I meet up with for lunch or a cuppa ............... I could have, a lot of my customers have always said 'come see me' - lets do this together etc, and I always refused.  I had 'our' Marian to confide in - talk to - laugh with.  THEN  I think the last two years she hasn't bothered meeting up with me or going out with me or inviting me over to hers etc and every time her shite of a husband came home and she was on the phone to me she 'had to go' ?  but I still feel bereft.  It's been a bad weekend thinking about never EVER seeing her again.

Went out for my birthday meal................... to Turpins.  It seemed posher than usual but the prices weren't actually too bad considering  5 of us for £136 including the tip.  We didn't have puddings - I really couldn't having had Camembert and loads of bread and then a bloody pizza wrong choices really but it was cooked well, glad I stopped eating half way though the pizza though otherwise I think i might have been sick.

Today has rushed usual washing and tidying and cooking and sorting stuff with Korin,  Will do another post about that.  Still feeling down and back at work as usual tomorrow.  I wish I could do 3 days at 5 hours rather than 3 hours every day - hate going in every day and getting up early every day.  Oh my goodness I do moan.

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