Monday, 12 August 2013
I bought some walking shoes - but I dont think they'll get much wear
Since I lost you Gunner I haven't been out 'walking' like we used to - albeit since when you were poorly in January this year you haven't done much walking - well, not like we used to - just little walks around the block up and down the road with little variations. The last month to 6 weeks before you left us you struggled big time walking round the little block - and we thought it was just your cough..............so since you left I haven't had much exercise so got my shoes. I went out with Korin yesterday and it was OK - we talked about you a little but decided it was too painful to talk about you and where you p'd and where you sniffed and little areas where I could let you off your lead. Today I decided to nip out for a 20 mins brisk walk and cried all the way round, remembering you at ever twist and turn in the road - it was so so lonely to be walking on my own, no one to talk to, remembering how you used to walk a little in front and then stop and turn to make sure I was following up the rear. I came home and bawled my eyes out. I miss you so much, I just hope it gets better. Have been thinking that maybe I need to drive somewhere to walk in a different place so the sad memories don't keep flooding back all the time. I wish you were here.